Men, you knew this was a comin so
let's get it done and over with.

No matter how financially deprived
you may be by the scheming, low down
dirty rotten skunk of a VA agency
that it truly is, you HAVE to integrate
green salad into your diet in some
kind of a way or you will take on
all kinds of infections, rashes,
and blood sugar problems from the
deprivation of Vitamin A and the like.

I know this is not your favorite subject
but let's deal with this rationally
together now, and you can believe
me when I say, you will actually start
feeling better after you add in more
green salad into your diet.

The human body is not made to live
on meat alone, nor is it made to
live on MRE's alone just because they
are available on the market.

You have a home now, it's yours
to have and enjoy. You have a kitchen
that has been a stranger to much
of your life, and just like any
tool shed or garage, you have to
walk up to the workbench, discover
what all the tools are, and then
get busy making something to save
money and pass the time with all
of the rewards of the process going
exclusively to YOU !!

One of the leading reasons why
green salad is such a bore is
because there are not enough ingredients
in it. Variety is what makes a meal
interesting and taste good.

A real green salad is NOT just a
pile of lettuce with a couple of
tomato pieces on top. Give me
a BREAK, I say!

Try, if you can, to buy enough
salad greens each month, to carry
you for salads for one full week
out of that month if you can.

What relentless meat does to
your body is clog up your arteries
with chloresterol. Ya wouldn't
put large chunks of spackling paste
down your kitchen drain, now would
ya? The same idea is all about what
meat does to your arteries.

Green salad and fruit are like
DRAINO and unclogs the drains
of your arteries. Get it?? This
doesn't exactly mean you can eat
more meat afterwards, ha ha, but
it means you have to pay attention
to these small things in your
diet or it will sneak up on you
and take you down.

You can now buy ready made bags
of lettuce greens for salads.
Go with that if it works for you
okay. If not, buy one head of
crunchy iceberg lettuce and use
that as your base. Slice off a
a chunk each time you want to
make a salad through the week.

Buy all of the other things that
you like in a salad, and think
back to the best salad you ever
had and what was in that when
you had it. Slicing a cold carrot
adds crunch to the salad. Just
peel it, cut off the ends, then
put the carrot down horizontally
and slice the little circles.

1 green pepper might add something
for you. If you have bought celery
sticks for something else, add at
least 1 celery stick all washed
and cut off the ends and then
slice that into pieces.

Add chopped onions or garlic if you
like. Cold broccoli or cauliflower
pieces also do work. 1 cucumber
peeled and sliced also works.

When you pick out your tomato,
make it the best choice possible
from what is there.

Croutons for salad are usually
right in the produce section where
you buy the rest of your salad
makings. If not, check the salad
dressing aisle. Saltine crackers
can be served on the side if
croutons are not available for you.

If you sometimes like a little
hot zest, pick up Crushed Red Peppers
which is a seasoning found in
the seasoning aisle. This adds
hot spice without using hot sauce
or altering the flavor of your
salad.

If you sometimes like Bacon Bits,
get those, also in the salad dressing
aisle.

A little shredded cheese works okay
too. Cheddar, monterey jack, pepper
jack, and swiss all do work well
with green salad. If not, shake
on some Parmesan shaker cheese
like what you use for spagetti.

Some people like to slice up some
apple bits and put it into a green
salad. Or blueberries.

1 single hard boiled egg is also
a perfect touch item to have
in your green salad if this is
where the spirit moves you.

Add regular salt and pepper to
your salad too which many people
forget to put on but really
does make a difference in the
result.

Now about dressings, it is here
where you can go nuts with your
inventory. Buy up a variety
of salad dressings and just keep
them in your refrigerator so
that as different moods strike
you, then you have different
flavors to draw upon.

If you are bored already with
Italian or vinegarettes, then
the entire Ranch dressing line
has now expanded. They have
Ranch Bacon dressing, they have
Ranch 3 Cheese dressing which
is actually quite good, and they
have Ranch Spicey which is a
Southwestern flair. You can sprinkle
on a little Chile Powder from
the seasoning aisle to tune
that up a little if you want
more flavor.

They have Asian Sesame dressing,
and they have Catalina. Keep these
around in your kitchen in case
you need a quick snack such
as celery or carrot sticks and
you don't have any dip around.
Just use the salad dressing.

Put 1 single piece of meat with
your salad for a meal, such as
1 pork chop with a little A-1
Sauce or barbeque sauce off to
the side, or a chicken breast
that you baked up in the toaster
oven. This will make a single
package of 4 pork chops last
you an entire week over several
salads.

Dude, this is all you need and
you will be very surprised at
how full you are when you are
done eating. Don't cut corners
on the variety feature of green
salad.

I know all about it, standing
in one place and chopping is a pain.
As I have suggested before, get
yourself a tall, counter-level
chair that you can sit in comfortably
and not stand on your feet while
you are making up your salad.

You will also need the tall chair
to wash your dishes. Get the tall
chair, and then use it when you
have it, and it will amaze you
just how much relief you get from
these activities when you do. Most
people do not comprehend that if
they just sit down while doing
these tasks, that the whole
process goes by much faster
and without the aggravation of
being on your feet in one place.

At McDonald's fast food chains,
they have a very plain economy
salad called a SIDE SALAD if you
happen to live near one of those
places. Order the SIDE SALAD and
then bring it home and add some
of your other ingredients from
the refrigerator and then use
your own selected salad dressing
from home.

As I stated in my last chat entry,
you can match a green salad to
a baked potato and it makes for
a great lunch.

Living alone does NOT mean you
can eat fried bacon 24/7 nor does
it mean you can eat ice cream 24/7.

It means that you are now responsible
for your own health and you have
to remind yourself to do things
occassionally like make yourself
a green salad so you can Draino
your chloresterol arteries. You
can do this, you are a Veteran
after all and it's just a matter
of putting the green salad supplies
on your monthly grocery list.

With just lettuce, celery, carrots,
onions or garlic and tomato you
should be able to get a full week
of eats from those 1 time purchases
and then it's just a matter of
jazzing it up with small variation
items and a well-chosen salad
dressing that sends you to heaven
and back.

Work it out, Dude, because it's
the VA's plan for you to wear you
down. So you have to make it your
own plan to stick around forever
to remind them what DirtBags they are.

Call it The VA Salad Revenge!!